Lost

In the early morning hours I stir

I lay in bed 

and hope for another hour still

But the child cries and the silence dies

**

If I’m still and I pretend I’m not awake

Will she go back to sleep? 

Another hour I will take

**

Anything I can get will help

Work baby sleep work baby sleep work baby sleep

**

Feel like an undercover tv cop in too deep

Coffee in the am,

coffee in the pm,

and I don’t sleep

**

The vicious cycle tearing me down 

one by one

The blocks

— they seem to of fell

**

Pick up the pieces 

and build them up again

The child that cries settles her eyes 

–and she wakes

**

She needs you here 

and she needs you now

Do not hesitate 

She cannot wait 

and she should not wait 

**

–Wait how can this be 

I’ve lost something important to me

I’ve forgotten who I am 

and these days shift like sifting sands

Vaguely they blow in the breeze 

settling differently familiar

And I always feel a bit peculiar

**

I know strangers better 

than I know myself

I’m lost or I lost myself 

one of us is here 

neither of us near

**

The end of the beginning 

This life was supposed to look different

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