In the early morning hours I stir

I lay in bed 

and hope for another hour still

But the child cries and the silence dies


If I’m still and I pretend I’m not awake

Will she go back to sleep? 

Another hour I will take


Anything I can get will help

Work baby sleep work baby sleep work baby sleep


Feel like an undercover tv cop in too deep

Coffee in the am,

coffee in the pm,

and I don’t sleep


The vicious cycle tearing me down 

one by one

The blocks

— they seem to of fell


Pick up the pieces 

and build them up again

The child that cries settles her eyes 

–and she wakes


She needs you here 

and she needs you now

Do not hesitate 

She cannot wait 

and she should not wait 


–Wait how can this be 

I’ve lost something important to me

I’ve forgotten who I am 

and these days shift like sifting sands

Vaguely they blow in the breeze 

settling differently familiar

And I always feel a bit peculiar


I know strangers better 

than I know myself

I’m lost or I lost myself 

one of us is here 

neither of us near


The end of the beginning 

This life was supposed to look different

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